It's a date
by Kuri333
Summary: "I'm sorry, what was the question?" She has asked, but she knows she is failing at the whole playing-it-cool thing, because she is feeling her smile taking over any other possible gesture.
1. Chapter 1

She tries her best to be composed, to play it cool.

"I'm sorry, what was the question?"

She has asked, but she knows she is failing at the whole playing-it-cool thing, because she is feeling her smile taking over any other possible gesture. The cameraman chuckles and the interviewer says they are all set for the day.

Which, really, is a relief.

Now she's outside the conference room, head full of questions, and her eyes are looking for him, while the rest of her body walks to her desk as if nothing was different. As if that word, date, was not reverberating against her skull. Because he said date, didn't he? D. A. T. E.?

Kelly and Oscar pass next to her and mechanically she answers their good-byes. It's past five and people are leaving. Most unnervingly, Jim is nowhere to be seen.

With a confused sigh Pam sits and there it is. A purple post-it on the corner of her computer screen that wasn't there when she entered the conference room.

" _Had to drop off some stuff. Pick you up at 7. J._ "

Again that smile is there, and she lowers her head so that Toby won't notice it as he passes her desk. Carefully she takes the note, folds it and puts it inside her purse. It's silly, really, to keep a scribbled piece of paper, but for her this is a promise. Hope.

* * *

 *** Cover art borrowed from** **Marisa Livingston**


	2. Chapter 2

I took Jim three attempts at leaving his house. First he was wearing the wrong shoes. Then, he had forgotten his cellphone. And once he was in the car he realised the night was too warm and his pullover was too hot.

And yet, even though he drove as slowly as he could, he is fifteen minutes early.

He wanted to knock at her door anyway. So badly. But then, maybe she wasn't ready and it would be awkward to stand there, waiting, and making her feel uncomfortable.

His mind keeps on wandering, trying to picture what she is doing at that moment. Deciding what to wear? Brushing her teeth? Sitting on her living room, wearing sweatpants and not really realising or caring how important this is for him?

Jim steps out and breathes, he is too restless to sit on his car. 9 minutes to go. And her front door is less than 10 feet away. With a heavy sigh he sits back in and starts scrolling down his list if contacts, without really taking in any of the names.

It's too short.

Maybe he could count the letters and see who has the longest name.

And he does, distractedly, until the 8th H in Meredith makes something snap inside him. He's being ridiculous. Only two minutes to go. He's going in, and if she's not ready… well, there are worse things that could happen.

With more force than intended, he finally closes the door of the car at his back, and suddenly in a hurry, few long strides take him to her door. The door of the apartment he found looking at her human resources file that very same afternoon. There is only one thing to do, so he rings.

The door opens almost instantly and he can't help but smiling. "Hey," he says, taking in the red shirt and the gray pants he's never seen before. Pam's wearing her hair differently, and the thought that it's for him makes Jim's smile grow wider.

"Hi," she is smiling, but looks doubtful, though, and even takes a glance over his shoulder. "Is everything ok?"

He's confused. "Yeah, why wouldn't it?"

"I saw your car through the window a while ago. Almost went out to ask what's wrong but you looked so focused- why are you blushing?"

"Yeah… erm… no." Without thinking, his hand is on his neck, ruffling hair that feels too short. "Not blushing, nothing important. It's just…"

And out of the blue she laughs, her eyes bright, light dancing on them. "Were you early?"

He looks sheepish at his own feet first, and then at her. "Nooo."

"You're such a dork! You could've knock and wait inside!"

"Yeah… What if you weren't ready?"

"Nobody would've died." She chuckles again, and he feels some heavy weight he was carrying inside lift almost completely. This is she, this is them, being their usual silly selves and laughing at each other.

And he really loves it when she laughs.

"All right, that's enough of that," he says, although it isn't. "You hungry?"

She nods, and grabs a jacket and a purse from a small table next to the door, "Very."

"Let's go then."

He glances around, he would've liked to stay a bit longer and get a proper look at her apartment, but he doesn't know how to say this, and, besides, he really is hungry. He hasn't properly eating since breakfast, and that sandwich from the gas station on the road doesn't really count.

They walk in silence and he opens the car door for her. "Wow, that's very gentlemanly," Pam comments.

"Not really. That handle is broken," he says before closing the door.

"Really?" she asks the moment he sits, too.

"No."

She chuckles. "So, where are you taking me?"

"Everyone in Scranton knows that McDonald's is a prime spot, so that's where we're going," he says as he turns on the car.

"Great!" She claps her hands. "Can I have a happy meal? I am only one toy short of completing this series."

"Sure, Beesly. Sky's the limit!"

He turns around briefly to see her smile, but before looking back at the road he manages to see it replaced by something else, only he's not sure what this new gesture means. He can't find out because suddenly all lights are green and has to keep on driving. She is silent, and that makes him nervous. When he manages to look at her again, she is looking right at him and biting his lip.

"Jim," she says after a moment. "There's something I need to know so I'm gonna just ask it, ok?"

"No. I don't think Michael is bi." He says without missing a beat, because he knows something serious is coming his way and he wants that but he's also terrified.

"What?"

"What?" he looks at her now, taking advantage of the red light. "Wasn't that what you wanted to ask?"

Pam smiles, but she seems determined. "No."

She stays silent for a moment, and Jim vows he's going to let her speak this time.

"WhathappenedwithKaren?" she finally blurts out, and if he wasn't waiting for that question, he probably would've missed it.

"Karen." He sighs, and in his mind he sees her, in front of that fountain, angry and defeated, but looking defiantly at him. "Oh well. She's… in New York, I guess."

"You guess?"

"That's where I left her. Early today."

It seems like a lifetime ago. He glances at Pam and he can see she's biting her lip again, brows furrowed.

"Why?" she finally asks.

He shrugs. "I should've done that a while ago. Not... not the part of leaving her there. Just leaving… you know."

She nods, but doesn't say anything.

"As a matter of fact," he takes a deep sight, his eyes focused on the road, "I don't think I should've been with her to begin with. Wasn't fair to her."

… that I have always been in love with somebody else, he wants to add. With you, he should say, but he doesn't dare. Not while he can't properly look at her and see in her eyes that he's not mistaken. That he's not opening his heart again, only to have it crushed… again.

Pam stays silent, but he can swear he hears the next question forming inside her head. So, he waits.

"And the interview, how was it?"

Great. I'm moving to New York next week, he is tempted to say, but that wouldn't have been funny at all, not really.

"I think it was good. More or less," he takes the exit towards the restaurant's parking lot. When she sees that where they are looks nothing like a McDonald's, she smiles, but doesn't say thing. Instead, she looks questioning at him.

"It was good," he continues, "until David started talking about it being for the long haul. And then… then I withdrew my application. I… I told him thanks, but that there was… I couldn't…" he has parked, and now he can look at her. "What were you thinking when you sent me that note and the yogurt lid?"

At this he swears she's blushing. She is biting her lip again, and he recognises her gesture as one she makes when she's nervous.

"We're here," she says, and it's just like her to try to evade this sort of questions, but this time he won't have it. Sure, she might need some time, he learned that lesson the last time he tried to talk feelings with her, but he needs answers.

He gets out too, as quickly as possible, and both are showed inside, into a small table in the far corner of the place. It's quiet and intimate, and instead of taking opposite seats, she takes one corner, and he takes the other one, right next to her. Their knees touch for a fraction of a second, it feels suddenly hot.

Both take the offered menus and, for a moment, they discuss what they're getting and take suggestions from the waiter. Almost as if this was the most normal thing, as if they did this all the time. But he wants the waiter to leave and he needs to talk to her. Just her. And when he finally does, he almost sighs aloud both anticipating and a little bit scared of what might come next.

For a moment, nobody says a thing. Pam looks around, smiling, and her eyes are bright again.

"I haven't forgotten the question, you know," Jim says, trying to keep his voice light. As if this entire night and, maybe, his entire existence didn't depend on her answer.

"I have. What question?" She says, too quickly and looking guilty, and it's just adorable.

"The note?"

"The note. Well… " now her eyes are on the table, and her fingers play with the drops forming outside her glass of water. "Let's say… it was what it was. A good luck wish. A way of saying I was sure you'd make it."

"Really? Didn't you think it'd have the opposite effect?"

"What? Make you fail?" she snorts.

"Noo. Make me wish I wasn't going."

She sighs. "I just wanted to reach out. I wanted you to know I was reaching out. And then… what you'd chose to do with that… that's pretty much it, right?" Her voice is barely a whisper, but her eyes fix on his and he's lost the ability to talk. "You see," suddenly she sounds firm, and he sees in her eyes some of that energy she displayed at the beach, right after walking over the coal. Fire, indeed. "I want what's best for you. You're my best friend! I want you to do well in life, and to succeed, and all that. But also… I also want what's best for me, you know?"

He just nods.

"And," she continues, "The truth is, I'm pretty sure that it's best for me when you're here in Scranton."

She doesn't look shy this time, but firm. Almost challenging.

And suddenly he's feeling it all at once. How nice it is when she smiles at him from across the office. How she catches his eye when Michael is boring them, and manages to make it all worth it. How he has spent so much time trying to be with her and treasuring every small moment, every joke, every smile.

"God, Pam," his voice is hoarse, "I'm so in love with you right now."

She looks confused for an instant, and he can't believe he just said that out loud when he swore after Casino Night that he wouldn't make that same mistake twice. For a moment he considers laughing it off, turning it into a silly joke… But then she beams, chuckles, and before he can really tell what's happening, she's leaning towards him.

It took him weeks, months, to try to forget that other night. That kiss against his desk. The texture of her lips. The way she sighed against his mouth. How her tiny hands felt in his. And now he was feeling it all again. Slow. Soft. Warm. He never really forgot it, how could he?

She pulls back, after too short a moment, and he sighs.

"Wow… Beesly, I…"

Somebody clears his throat. The tables, the restaurant, the waiter, all come back to focus, and he's serving them the wine they ordered eons ago. In another life.

Pam smiles at the waiter, and Jim feels suddenly and inexplicably possessive. He wants that smile for him, and just him. He wants the entire world to dissolve again so there is nothing but them.

"You know," Jim speaks as the waiter goes, needing to hold her attention, but not sure of what to say. "I was kinda hoping we would get there… you know… like, kissing, at some point tonight. I just… didn't thought it'd happen so soon."

"Oh," she frowns, but he's trained to see that slightest curve at the corner of her lips. "I see. Well… I can always take that kiss back. Save it for later, maybe?."

He sees his smile mirrored by hers.

"Would you? It'll mean so much to me," he says, leaning forward.

"Yeah… I'll try."

This time he's ready, and she's a little bit more enthusiastic. His hand finds hers, on the table, and he registers her nose, brushing against his, slowly, when she pulls back again.

"Is that ok?" she says, with a would-be serious voice.

"I don't know. I think you took back more than what you gave me originally." His hand is still on hers and he caresses it with the tip of his thumb.

"Interests," she says, and, without taking her eyes off him, drinks some wine.

He chuckles, and takes some wine too, even though he'd rather have her, her flavour, her lips.

"You know..." she says, and he sees her eyes look at the glass, at their hands, and finally at his.

"Yeah…"

"I… I'm in love with you, too."

Now he beams, and his free hand cups her cheek. This is the kiss he needs to remember the most, just as he needs to remember her exact words, the exact tone she used, the way her eyes are still on his, and how he finally, finally, gets to hear what he has wanted to hear for so many years.

"Are you now?" he whispers, an inch from her lips, partly teasing and partly because he just has to be sure she is sure and this is not just a dream.

"Pretty much."

This time it's not just their lips, but also his hand, and then hers on his neck, pulling him just a little bit closer, and their knees touching. It's both overwhelming and not enough, but he is the one who pulls back this time, and he gets to see her slightly breathless, eyes half closed, cheeks bright pink.

Both chuckle, even though he doesn't really know what's so funny. Maybe it's just that he's feeling too much and he has to say something, do something.

But he just settles with caressing her hand and looking at her smile at him.

"So, what happens now, Beesly?" he knows it's a stupid question but he needs to hear her talk.

"Now… aren't you the one who planned this date?"

"I was actually improvising."


	3. Chapter 3

Everything is different. It's finally happened and her life is a new one. And yet, talking to Jim, laughing at their usual banter, feels just the same. Like those moments, months ago, when she could easily forget she was with Roy and he didn't seem to care.

"What possessed you to walk over that hot coal the other day?" he asks sounding nonchalantly.

She thinks for a moment. After everything that happened between then and now, she could very well say it was for him, Jim. That it all was part of a cleaver scheme to finally tell him it had been him all along. Instead, she chooses to answer truthfully.

"Michael."

"What?" He chuckles. "Really? Why?"

"Well," she takes a bite of lasagna to compose her answer. "That day he was especially crappy with me. He gave me this stupid task, and made you all do stupid things, and that's not really different from any other day at work, only it was just a bit too much. You know?"

"Ehm… yeah?" He sounds doubtful.

"It was a very long, silly day, after very long, stupid weeks." She goes on. "I hated seeing you and Karen on the bus. I hated Dwight, and Andy, and pretty much everybody, and then I thought how ridiculous it all was. Would a job be decided just for eating badly cooked sausages? Or walking on hot coals?"

He looks down at his plate, and she has the feeling he's ashamed.

"So you did it," he summarizes.

"So I did it. And it felt great to see Michael's face when I told him I did while he couldn't."

"It was priceless," he agrees. "Especially when you told him you should be his boss."

"Yeah… well, since I was feeling bolder than ever, I thought I could keep on talking, you know. And once I started I couldn't stop. Wouldn't want to. I din't plan any of it... it just came out as it was, I guess."

He takes her hand again; she is still overwhelmed by how new and warm and right it feels.

"I am sorry about missing your art show."

"Don't be." She shrugs. "Old story."

"You're still hurt about it."

"Not any more, really. I had my said at the beach and that was all that I wanted."

"Well…" He shuffles on his seat and with his free hand he messes with his hair. She hopes it won't take long to grow back. "I guess you know why I didn't go."

She has to think for a moment because the old Jim, her old Jim, wouldn't have missed it for the world. But at the time of the art show... yeah, she can imagine a number of reasons, but she honestly doesn't know. "Karen?"

He chuckles humorlessly. "Not Karen, no. Roy."

"Roy?" She barely remembers Roy, really. But he showed up.

"You guys were back together," Jim continues, "and I… I just didn't want to have to watch that."

Pam looks at him for a moment and nods. She understands only too well. "He didn't stay long, as a matter of fact. Came with his brother and left as soon as they could."

He doesn't seem to know what to say, and just looks at her. She knows that look so well, from all those times she had said something about Roy and he had just… listened. While probably thinking what she should've realized so long ago. That Roy was not right for her. It's not exactly pity, but some sort of deep understanding and longin. Only now he doesn't have to long anymore, but it's too new a feeling to register, apparently.

"You know," she continues. Now that they are finally talking about serious stuff, she wants to say it all. "Some of the guys were teasing me yesterday about it. About what I said at the beach." It's a little bit embarrassing, but she wants to say it and be sure Jim is not thinking the same. "Kelly even said it was pathetic… how I talked to you afterwards. Or something like that."

"Come on! Are you listening to Kelly now?"

She laughs even though she doesn't really find it funny. "Well, I can see that it would look sad from the outside. But I don't regret any of it."

He nods. "Neither do I."

With only his fork, he tries to cut his meat and fails. She takes her hand off his. "You should use your knife."

He chuckles, and then smiles at her, an earnest smile that she recognizes from the casino night, or maybe even from that time in the boat when they were freezing and she was questioning her whole life. "I don't want to let go of your hand, and realise this is not happening."

At this, she takes his hand back. "It's happening."

He looks around. "I am almost expecting somebody to fall through the ceiling with a very good reason why this shouldn't be happening."

She looks up, with mock seriousness. "Do you want to switch tables?"

He looks up too. "Maybe. But we don't know where they are falling. And they could come through the door, then."

She smiles. "You know what? Let them try. Let them come and try to tell us this shouldn't be happening. And let them hear a piece of my mind then."

Jim smiles, and takes her hand to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles. "I almost want them to, so I can hear that piece of your mind."

"Don't be silly."

Both resume eating. Pam tells him about Dwight's Shrutebucks and his plans for the branch should he be in charge, and her brief career as Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager. They laugh and he says he's sorry he missed it and starts naming everything that they could have done to undermine Dwight's regime should he have stayed in charge any longer.

And then, he seems to realize something.

"I don't want them to know."

"Who? To know what?" she is confused.

"I don't want the people at the office to know about this. About us." Jim elaborates.

She looks down at her plate. "Oh." Of course he wouldn't. Just hours ago he was with Karen. Only yesterday their co-workers saw them leaving together!

"I mean," he hastens to add. "Eventually, they will. Only, I'd like to have this just for us, for a while."

Pam understands, or she thinks she does, but she doesn't like it. It's all so new, and a little confusing to say the least. Moments ago she kissed him, and she knows she wants to keep on having the right to kiss him. And yet, it all feels fragile and new and precious...

Still, she has to know.

"What is _this_ , Jim?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, what are we doing, where are we heading?"

"Isn't it obvious where we're heading, Pam?" he asks, frowning a little.

"Is it?"

He sits straighter, and his eyes are intense on hers. "I asked you on a date and you agreed. And we're finally here. I said I am in love with you and I want to believe that you meant it when you said it-"

"I did."

"Then," he smiles, "we're doing a second date. And a third. And another one after that. And if you ask me, I think we'll keep on doing that forever and ever."

At this her heart gives a funny jump. She knows it's silly. It's what you're supposed to be thinking when you're starting something, that it will last forever, and yet, it sounds as if he really meant it. As if… No, she needs to calm down, and stop reading more into what's already there. Which is a lot.

"So… given that," he continues, "I just want it to be us, for a while. No office gossip, no Michael saying... whatever he would say-"

"Oh Michael," Pam groans. "It's going to be awful, isn't it?". She is trying to lightened the mood, because she is shaky, and overwhelmed, and really, she just wants to stay with him, like this, forever, and at the same time she wants dinner to be over so she can find out what's next.

"In every possible imaginable way," he nods solemnly.

"Yeah..." she nods, and then she remembers what he just said. "We're doing a second date, huh?"

"Actually, Beesly, now that I think of it, that would be our third."

She chuckles. "Would it? Did I sleep through one?"

He beams, his eyes fixed on hers, and she's suddenly hot. "I'm still calling that one on the rooftop our first date."

Pam beams back. That time she was confused, to say the least. He heart was warm, and aching for him, and they had such a great time. And then he had to say it aloud and make her face the fact that yes, there was definitely something else and she was a coward for not seeing it as clearly as he was. But now here they are, finally, and there is no conflict in imagining that that was, in fact, their first date.

"Well… I feel much better now," she manages to say over all the new and overwhelming emotions taking over her.

"How so?"

"I was worried about kissing a guy on the first date. What would you think of me?"

He chuckles. "That you're easy."

"Am I?"

And now he laughs, and she joins in. "The absolute opposite."

She doesn't think she was easy or difficult. She thinks she was a coward, but before she has the chance to say it, he's speaking again.

"The thing is, now you'll get to plan it. That third date."

She nods, thoughtful. "I can do that."

"You have to top this one, though. And the one on the rooftop."

She nods, and feeling suddenly bold and full of energy, she caresses his calf with the tip of her foot. "I might be able to do that."

She will have to repeat the gesture, because seeing him blush and almost choke on his wine is worth it.

So she does.

"You finished?" he asks, pointing at her almost empty plate, and then putting his knife and fork on his. He signs the waiter to bring the check.

"Why the hurry?" she tries to sound innocent.

"No hurry. I just want to change scenery and you're a slow eater," he says, nonchalantly, but she can feel his leg jittering under the table.

"I've finished 10 minutes ago, in case you haven't noticed."

"I must have been distracted."

"Probably," this time her foot travels further up and Jim frowns at her in a way that tells her that he really doesn't mean it.

"You don't want dessert, do you?" he asks as an afterthought, right after giving the waiter his credit card, with a face that shows he's sure he just blew it.

"I was so hoping for some ice cream."

"Were you?"

"Yup."

He looks at her for some solid ten seconds before finally chuckling.

"You know what? I happen to have some ice cream at my place."

She never understood until now that thing about butterflies, but her knees are shaking and her palms might be a tad sweaty and there is definitely something doing funny jumps inside her.

"How convenient," she manages, as they stand up.

He lightly touches her lower back and she's sure this is a gesture he might have done before, only this time it sends shivers up her spine and heat through her skin. When he helps her into the car, she doesn't tease him about it, but uses those seconds until he joins her inside to take a couple of very needed steady breaths.

And then his lips are on hers, and she feels it's so much more intense, as his hand runs up her tight and the tip of his tongue touches her lower lip.

She is probably starting to melt when he stops, his lips and inch from hers. "Double chocolate chips."

"I'm sorry, what?" her voice is weak and she would've felt silly but she doesn't care anymore.

"I have double chocolate chips ice cream." Their foreheads are touching and she barely registers what he's saying because his eyes from this close are something new and beautiful she needs to study.

"Aha."

"You game?"

"God yes."

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for the new addition that isn't really an addition. I posted it all without a beta. I hope now it's better.**

 **Thanks very much for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

The atmosphere in the car is tense. Electric. He takes his hand, and his thumb traces slow circles while they talk. About the last prank that they played on Andy, and about Michael coming back from New York, and Jan being kicked out. Jim listens, and speaks when needed, but his whole body seems to vibrate in anticipation and his mind is somewhere else, somewhere almost familiar from fantasies from not long ago.

Despite how composed she looks, he suspects, by the way she bites her lip and how she is blushing, that Pam is feeling more or less the same, and the thought does nothing to calm him down.

Now they are parking in front of his apartment, and he wishes he can read her mind. The signs were there, right? She did run her foot-? He can't even think about it without feeling hot.

Well, he reasons as he opens the door of her side of the car and takes a hand he doesn't want to let go, they can always just have some ice cream and talk. And that's so much more than any of his wildest dreams only earlier today. He can go slow. But then she leans closer, as he fumbles with his keys, and he swears he can feel her body through the layers of clothing and it's a miracle he manages to find the right key and open the door.

The apartment is not really tidy and, if he is honest with himself, it still looks as if he's not yet finished unpacking. A little empty. A little impersonal.

If he has to be honest, he didn't want to even think that coming back to his place was a possibility, and quite deliberately, didn't even try to make it look presentable. That would've meant he was hoping and he didn't want to hope so much.

"This is it," he says, lamely, pointing at the lonely sofa and the coffee table.

"So, what is it like not to have a roommate anymore?" Pam says, apparently unbothered, looking around curiously, as if she wants to memorise it.

"Quiet, I guess," he hasn't paused to think about it, really. "A lot less barbeques".

She chuckles. "Unpractical?"

"Yeah…" Jim looks around, not sure of what to do. "I'm sorry about the mess," He picks up a t-shirt, carelessly thrown on his couch. She chuckles and he turns around to look at her. And that's when it hits him. Pam Beesly is finally in his living room, smiling and blushing, and he can't get enough of that image. She bites her lip.

He has always loved it when she does that.

"What?" she asks.

He sighs. There is really no way he can think of, for putting in words everything he's feeling. "Nothing… everything."

She takes a tentative step towards him but he's dropped the t-shirt and, with two long strides, he's already next to her, taking her tiny hands in his. "Are you really here?" he says, hoarsely.

"Nope. Went away hours ago," but her voice is shaky and he can't be fooled by her attempt of a joke.

"Shoot. What am I gonna do with the ice cream, now?"

"Riiight, ice cream," she whispers, as he leans down. He can feel her breath on his lips.

"Yeah."

The kiss starts slow, their lips meeting, still getting familiar with this new development, but then her hands travel through his chest and around his neck and he's hugging her close to him, like that night against his desk, only better. So much better.

They grow bolder, and their hands start exploring. Hers, soft but insistent on his neck and hair. His, playing with the hem of her top until he touches warm skin and, in a flash, he remembers a dojo, banter, tickling, her indignation and his confusion and his own stupidity in front of all those mixed signals. There is nothing confusing now. No in the way she sighs against his lips, or how her body presses even closer to him. Jim's hands travel further up, discovering more soft skin, the texture of her bra in his fingertips, and then he almost forgets all about it because she starts kissing his neck, and pulling him low to reach his ear with her lips.

"Come here," he says hoarsely and, at the same time he is pulling her to where he thinks his bedroom is which is now difficult to tell because his entire universe is upside down.

The feeling of amazement is replaced by something else, something he can describe but feels his senses in every possible way. And then he trips with a forgotten shoe and both land on the bed.

"Are you ok?" He asks, a little concerned, but it goes away as he sees that Pam is rocking with silent laughter.

"Very smooth, Jim," she says.

He kisses her again, because he wants her to tease him, of course, but there are more important things to attend right now. Like the way her hands travel up and down his back, and the soft skin of her waist on his palms.

And then all thoughts go away, along with her top, his shirt, the rest of their clothes, and the only sounds are their names, whispered urgently, and their breaths getting mixed. At some point she moans, and then he does, but the best part of it all is that is them, finally together.

His next coherent thought is that there is no way he's going to be able to wake up for work the next morning. Not when his senses are full of her, and her warm presence is solid against his side. She is curled up, still panting a little, her head on his shoulder and her tiny hand on his chest. With a sigh, he takes that hand in his, and kisses her fingers.

"Jim…" she starts, but then remains silent.

"What?"

"I don't know what to say," she buries her face on his chest, and with his free hand, he caresses her hair, now a marvelous mess.

"Right. That bad, huh?"

"Terrible," she says, barely able to contain her laughter.

"Same here. Lame."

At this she finally looks up and he is momentarily stunned at how bright her eyes are, even at the dim light coming from the hallway. She smiles, but her mind is somewhere else, he can tell.

"I just… we've lost so much time," she says, and there is no laughter in her voice this time.

"Did we? You didn't even let me open the fridge!"

Now she laughs for real. "That's not what I meant," she says, punching his chest with so little effort it's almost a caress.

"Oh, then… did you want me to go faster?"

"Nooo… I meant… I can't help but thinking. All those months. Years really. You were there. I was there. Only I was so stupid or scared to really see it. To see that this could happen and that it would be awesome."

He kisses the top of her head. "Awesome, huh?"

She laughs again, "yeah, pretty awesome."

But she is right. "Maybe I should've talked sooner," he says after a moment.

"Maybe. But then, maybe I would've been as scared as I was when you did."

"Well, it would've been a risk worth taking."

As this she props her head on her shoulder, to better look at him. "Do you mean that? Don't you regret… I don't know… kissing me that night? After how stupid I was and how weird things got afterwards?"

Jim raises his head, too, resting it in his hand. He has to think about his answer now, because it's not an easy one.

"That is something I definitely don't regret. At all. Only I wish-"

"You wish I'd called off the wedding right then," she states.

"Well, yeah, but no. That's not what I mean." He reaches to fix a strand of hair back to its place, and stops his train of thought for a moment, to let it sink in. All those times he was mesmerised by that strand of hair when he looked at her from his desk. Now he is allowed to do this. Pam closes her eyes briefly and he is sure she's thinking along the same lines. "I guess… I don't know. It was a huge deal what I was asking from you. And there were signs… that for me were pretty obvious, but maybe not for you? And… I guess it was foolish from me to expect you'd leave everything behind and, I don't know… run off into the sunset holding hands with me?" He laughs, because he doesn't really want to sound as sad and desperate as he think he is.

"I wish I had," she says, looking down at the inches of empty sheets between them.

"Hey," Jim says, lifting her chin with his finger. "You're here now."

"Yeah," she says weekly, and he kisses her, wishing that all those regrets would go away as easily.

"Besides, that whole running into the sunset thing is very overrated."

She finally chuckles. "It is, right?"

"Definitely. Plus, it was the middle of the night."

"And I was wearing heels. Impossible to run anywhere." Both laugh a little. Jim takes a hand that is now clutching at the sheets and eases the fingers against his.

"I would've carried you."

"I know."

This time she is the one who leans forward to the kiss, and it grows intense again. For a moment Jim thinks about how they seem to be making up for lost time, but that is quickly forgotten, as the rest of his body takes charge again and gets as closer as possible to Pam's.


End file.
